That Fateful Day
by Matryoshka
Summary: On the first day of school, students are Sorted into their respective Houses. Most students anticipate this. Sirius, however, is filled with fear. What House will he be in? One-shot.


Basically, this story is about the feelings and fears Sirius Black felt in the hours before he was Sorted. It definitely was not an easy journey.

This is my first attempt at fanfiction, so I am sorry if it does not meet everyone's standards. It is supposed to be one-shot, but I have a feeling I _may _go on with it. But not soon. Maybe in a few months…Mostly, it is filled with Sirius's thoughts and fears.

Disclaimer: Everything, the book, the story, the world, the universe…(ermm…I'm getting a bit off track there)…belongs to J.K. Rowling and her minions (editors, publishers, etc.). This is my way of admiring her work. I am not making any money.

That Fateful Day

Sirius couldn't stop shaking.

He could hear his heart pounding hard against his chest, each beat sending a fresh wave of fear and nausea through him. He tried taking deep breaths and relaxing but his body stayed tense and his mind wouldn't stop whirling. He felt sick and wished fervently that he had been allowed to stay home.

That, of course, was out of the question. Stay home on September 1st? He would be going to school at Hogwarts for the first time. Most children anticipated this moment with great excitement. Sirius, however, could hardly breathe with the awful fear that swamped his mind. He felt he might cry, but his mother's words echoed loudly in his head: **"Don't ever show emotion in public. Feelings are a weakness. To show a weakness is to dishonor your family in the worst way."**

His mother…Sirius grimaced at the thought, remembering her parting words to him. Earlier that morning, while seeing him off, she had pressed her face close to his and whispered through gritted teeth, all the while gripping his shoulders hard with her sharp, bony hands, "If you _dare_ to in any way shame our noble house…you know the consequences!" Sirius had swallowed and nodded fearfully. Mrs. Black had shaken him hard, then pushed him in the direction of his other cousins, also going to school. He knew perfectly well what his mother meant. It made him shudder to think of the ways his mother would think up of tormenting him—ignoring him, shaming him in public, forcing the house-elves to disobey his orders, as if he wasn't a Black, and the rest of those little, devious methods she invented that served to tell him he was unwanted, unneeded, and unworthy any time he marginally disobeyed her.

Afterwards, as he hurried to join his cousins, Bellatrix, his least favorite had whispered snidely in his ear—"You'd better be a Slytherin, Sirius—wouldn't want a Hufflepuff disgracing our family!" He had turned red with embarrassment and stared at the ground as the others laughed. Much as he hated to admit it, he was deathly scared of becoming a Hufflepuff. He had been told so often he was a good-for-nothing, that he could only end up as a stupid Hufflepuff, he sometimes believed it himself.

But now, as Sirius sat in an empty compartment on the Hogwarts Express, he found himself wondering—did he really want to be in Slytherin? He imagined Bellatrix, Narcissa, and the rest of the gang there, just waiting for him to fall into their jaws. He shivered even more.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the compartment door sliding open. He quickly looked up, fearing that one of his cousins had found him at last. Instead, he found himself looking up into the face of a boy about his age with jet-black hair, bright hazel eyes, and a cheerful smile.

"Hello, I'm James Potter. Do you mind if I sit here?" Sirius nodded, and managed a weak smile.

**"Never converse with those of lower rank than you, if only to show contempt and superiority. You never know who might be a filthy Mudblood." **His mother's voice rang in his ears. But he thought he was safe this time. Potter. He had definitely heard it before.

"What's your name?" the boy asked after getting all of his baggage into the compartment.

"Sirius Black," Sirius replied so softly the other could hardly hear him. He suddenly wished the boy would go away.

"Well, nice to meet you. Do you know—" the boy began, but was cut off by the door opening again.

Sirius's worst fears were confirmed. Bellatrix Black stood in the doorway, smirking.

"Well, well. I have finally found our dear cousin," she said, turning back to face someone else behind her. To his horror, Sirius realized that next to Bellatrix stood no less than three people—his other cousin, Narcissa, a boy he recognized as Rodolphus Lestrange from one day Bellatrix had invited him for dinner, and another boy he did not know.

"Pray, Sirius, come out for a small chat in the hallway with us. We'd be _so_ delighted," Narcissa said, sneering at him. Sirius got up shakily from his seat and out of the compartment. Over his shoulder, he saw James Potter's surprised face.

"W-what do you want?"

"You shouldn't be so rude to your family, dear Sirius," Narcissa said softly. "But let us get on with it. Bella?"

Bellatrix came up closer to Sirius, who backed away until he was pressed against the wall. She looked deep into his eyes.

"Listen up, boy. You are going to be completely obedient to us and do _exactly_ as we say. You are not going to converse with any Mudbloods or people of lower status than you. You are going to behave exactly as a member of the Black family should do—even if he is a member only by blood, and not by virtue," she added, her eyes gleaming. "Finally, you will get yourself Sorted into Slytherin. If not, the only other possible choice is Ravenclaw. If you by _any_ chance become a Hufflepuff or a _Gryffindor_"—her eyes narrowed even more—"you will be deeply, deeply sorry. I don't think I need to tell you what will happen," she finished, smiling sadistically. Sirius stared at her in terror.

He wouldn't put it past her to cast the Cruciatus on him. Narcissa then stepped forward.

"And if we find that you have in _any_ way degraded the name of Black…" she said, while Lestrange and the other boys came closer, "I'm sure Rodolphus and his brother Rabastan won't hesitate to help us choose the proper…punishment."

"All right then. We've taken up too much time. Come, I have things to do," said Bellatrix, already starting to walk away. "Now run along, little cousin," she flung derisively over her shoulder at Sirius. The others followed, struggling to catch up with her quick pace.

When they were gone, Sirius paused a moment to compose himself. He had never been so scared in his life. He remembered how Rodolphus and Rabastan had loomed closer. It was easy to imagine what sort of torture they could think up for him. He only hoped he wouldn't spend the whole year in the Hospital Wing. It was going to be almost impossible to stay out of trouble with his family, since the smallest infraction could be called a serious breach of the rules by them.

Shaking his head, trying to clear his tangled thoughts, Sirius walked back into the compartment. James smiled nervously at him.

"Are you all right? You look a little…strange."

"Oh, no, I'm fine. My cousins were just wanted to talk to me a little, that's all." James still looked very unconvinced, but said nothing.

Sirius took up his previous seat and stared out the window. He heard the other boy rustle around, apparently searching through his trunk, but ignored him. He tried to calm down and think of something besides the Sorting, but it was impossible to focus. It seemed sometimes that the time was crawling so slowly hours had passed, but he knew that he had been onboard for only twenty minutes. Sometimes, instead he wished time would slow down, since the thought of that in just a few hours he'd be Sorted made him feel ill.

For the third time that day, Sirius's thoughts were interrupted by someone entering the compartment. A boy a little shorter than James was trying to heave his trunk through the door, but it seemed more than a little too heavy for him. James quickly stood up to help the boy. Sirius made a move to stand, but then froze in the middle of it. What if the new kid was a Mudblood?

**"You must always think through every word, every action as thoroughly as possible. To do something without enough thought beforehand is to be an idiot." **He had no doubt that his family would be checking on him, and if he was found in the company of someone with a tainted lineage...Personally, Sirius himself didn't particularly care about others' ancestry, though he would prefer to have pureblood friends since they _were_ usually more intelligent and interesting to be around with. Of course, his mother had told him numerous times that purebloods were the _only_ people he should ever be near.

However, James and the other boy managed to haul in the trunks with no further problems, and Sirius sat down again, slowly. The new boy shook the hair out of his eyes and stuck out a hand to James.

"Hi, I'm Remus Lupin. Is this seat taken?"

"No, it's free. I'm James Potter, and he's Sirius Black." Sirius nodded at Remus, relieved. He recognized the name Lupin, and vaguely remembered being at a Ministry banquet once where the Lupins were present, although he hadn't seen their son.

"Do you play any Quidditch, Remus?" James asked the brown-haired boy.

"Well…not very much. I like to watch it though, and keep track of teams."

"Quidditch?" asked Sirius with interest, forgetting momentarily about his worries and fears. "I love Quidditch. What's your favorite team?" James's eyes lit up and the three boys were soon deep in discussion about their favorite sport. They were soon joined by a fourth boy, Peter Pettigrew, who was also a big fan of the game.

Soon, too soon for Sirius, a witch called from outside, "Food, anyone?" The others eagerly got up and went outside again. Sirius stayed behind. He felt cold, as if he'd been dipped in icy water. How could he have forgotten? In just a few hours, he'd be Sorted…He ignored his new acquaintances' insistence that he get something to eat, saying that he wasn't hungry. In truth, he felt that any food he ate would not stay down for more than a minute. He positioned himself at his former seat by the window, and got out a book.

In a moment, the three boys reappeared in the compartment with handfuls of candy. Sirius ignored their offers to share and pretended to read. Soon, they were again deep in conversation, with the absence of Sirius.

He was quickly able to tune out the words and exclamations of the people who were probably the closest he'd ever come to friends. All that occupied his mind was the Sorting, the Sorting…

Sirius had always felt like an outcast in his own family. He was the strange one, the one Father never spoke to, the one Mother screamed at for his differences, the one his cousins teased and mocked endlessly. He had always been unlike his younger brother, Regulus, even though the age gap was small. It was something Sirius had that Regulus didn't, or more likely the opposite, that made Mother favor the younger over the elder.

The rules of being in the Black family were very rigid, and Sirius always felt out of place. His beliefs didn't seem to often match with the beliefs of his family, which caused more confrontations with his parents than he could count. Perhaps it was because he spent so much time around his favorite uncle Alphard. When he had been younger, Uncle Alphard had been a temporary babysitter for him. His uncle's open-minded beliefs had influenced Sirius greatly. Alphard had taught him about the Muggle world, and that Mudbloods were really people, though perhaps not as good as purebloods. He had once even introduced Sirius to a Mudblood wizard friend of his—a kind, jovial man whom Sirius had greatly enjoyed meeting. His uncle's teachings were a far cry from his mother's lectures on how the only "real" people were those of untainted blood, and those of anything else…well, they were not even worth thinking about.

Sirius sighed. Thinking about all of this had reminded him unpleasantly of the time when he, a young boy of just six years had voiced what Uncle Alphard had taught him at the dinner table. His relatives had been discussing the growing "problem" of Mudbloods and Muggles. One of his older cousins had suggested they all be executed, while his aunt countered that keeping them as slaves would be more useful. Sirius, in his excitement, forgot his mother's often repeated demands that he not "speak until spoken to". Enthusiastically, he blurted out, "Mudbloods are really nice! I met one, and he was so…" Sirius had trailed off uneasily, looking at the stunned faces around him. The whole table had gone silent and was staring at him in shock and disbelief.

Trying to cover up the whole situation, his mother had quickly stepped in, saying that Sirius should go to bed. She accompanied him to his room. Then, after setting a silencing charm on the small space, she shouted at the top of her voice.

"How dare you disgrace us like that? You worthless idiot, talking about _Mudbloods__?_ They're as bad as Muggles! They aren't even human! You piece of filth! I'm ashamed to call you my son!" Mrs. Black had then slapped Sirius hard with all of her strength, and then gone back to the dinner, ignoring his tears and cries of pain. From then on, Sirius had learned to keep his mouth shut.

Back in the train, Sirius found himself unable to focus on the book. He had been staring at the same page for nearly ten minutes without comprehending a word. He could not stop thinking, worrying about the events ahead, his mind punctured every few moments by a wave of fear.

There was just no choice for him. He would have to become a Slytherin. But then…he could well imagine the long years ahead of him. He remembered Narcissa's sneering face and Bellatrix's threats. Every move of his would be watched. How would he stand it?

He remembered suddenly that his favorite cousin Andromeda was in Slytherin, and felt a glimmer of hope…but no. He also remembered that she was in seventh year, and Head Girl—which was probably why he hadn't seen her on a train; she was at a meeting—and would have no time to talk to him or protect him from his family. He would have to endure Bellatrix for two more years, and Narcissa for three. He couldn't imagine surviving in such conditions.

What if he became a Ravenclaw? Sirius had always been a bright child and was sure he had the brains to be in that particular house. But then…Sirius suddenly, vividly recalled a memory from several years before as he thought about the likelihood of him getting into Ravenclaw.

It was Christmas, and the whole Black family was present for a large reunion. The house-elves had done a superb job at decorating the house, and the magnificent tree was quite a sight to behold. Everyone gathered in front of it for the family photo.

Sirius stood straight and proud in his black dress robes, as he had been taught. His mother walked out and gazed over them all. She smiled and spoke to everyone, her voice rich with pride: "The noble house of Black—we are all together again!" Her eyes moved over each member of the family. For several seconds, her eyes rested on Regulus, and her smile grew wider. Then her gaze passed to Sirius, and though it did not linger as long as it had on Regulus, Sirius could see acceptance in his mother's eyes. He had felt proud, for the first time, to be a Black. Somehow, Sirius knew his mother would never look that way again at him if he was Sorted into Ravenclaw.

What other choices did he have? Hufflepuff…Sirius broke into a cold sweat at the thought of his cousins' jeers and hurtful comments if he was Sorted into the "idiots' house". He could not imagine life as a Hufflepuff. He thought he'd rather die than be in that house. Gryffindor…that was out of the question. He shivered. Mother would probably disown him if he was a Gryffindor. He visualized becoming a complete outcast, of lower status than a house-elf…

Closing his eyes, Sirius leaned back and tried to relax his tense muscles. For many long minutes that passed like centuries, he battled with his troubled thoughts and confused memories until finally, thankfully, sleep overtook him.

He was awoken, some hours later, by the sound of James's urgent voice. "Sirius, wake up! We're almost there!" Sirius lifted his head and opened his eyes. It appeared that he had fallen asleep in a rather uncomfortable position, leaning back against the glass of the window. He massaged his neck to get the stiff feeling out of it and looked around.

James had been standing in front of him, hands on Sirius's shoulders as if he was about to shake him. Remus was reading on the other side of the compartment, having already changed into his Hogwarts school robes. Peter had fallen asleep and was snoring softly next to Remus.

"Good, you're awake. Come on! We should get changed; we'll be there in half an hour," James said hurriedly before going off to wake Peter.

Half an hour…Sirius felt the familiar feeling of dread drop down into his stomach. He went through the motions of changing into his school robes mechanically. All he could think of was the Sorting…

Finally, at long last, the train slowed and screeched to a shuddering halt. Sirius felt himself go cold all over, and the old shivering began. He could hardly lift himself out of his seat. Staring straight ahead, though not really seeing anything, he followed the other boys out the door, hauling his heavy luggage behind him. His mind seemed to have frozen, and he couldn't think clearly.

He hardly noticed the huge, black-bearded man beckoning the first years forward, nor the concerned look Remus gave him, nor the leering face of Bellatrix. While the others gasped in awe at their first sight of Hogwarts, Sirius kept his eyes on the ground, registering barely any conscious thought at all.

But as soon as he entered the Great Hall, Sirius woke from his dazed condition as abruptly as if he'd been slapped in the face. He blinked against the bright lights shining in his face and took a good look around. For a second, he forgot his worries and troubles as he beheld, for the first time, the glory and splendor of Hogwarts. He gasped in awe at the magnificent golden statues and the wondrous enchanted ceiling. What a change from the old-fashioned, gloomy velvet curtains and ancient furniture with feet carved into gargoyles!

But the moment passed, and Sirius was thrust forcefully back into the present as a tall witch with dark hair streaked with gray began to speak.

"Hello, all! Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where you will be spending the next seven years as students. Before you begin your school year, you will be Sorted into one of four Houses: Ravenclaw, Slytherin, Gryffindor, or Hufflepuff. Each of these houses has produced remarkable and powerful witches and wizards. While you are here, you will lose or gain points for your House depending on how you choose to behave,"—here she smiled wryly—"and at the end of the year the House with the greatest points will be awarded the House Cup. Now, let us begin the Sorting."

The witch led them some distance further to a four-legged stool near the center of the Great Hall, on which was placed a raggedy, filthy top hat. Sirius knew very well what it was; his cousins had told him: the Sorting Hat.

Sirius took a look around. There were four different tables in the hall, filled with chattering students—_the House tables,_ he realized. His heart sinking, he slowly turned around and fixed his gaze on the Slytherin table. He caught a glimpse of Bellatrix smiling at him maliciously before he looked away, sickened.

By now, the Sorting Hat had opened its mouth and begun to sing, but Sirius caught very little of the words. He was filled with dread, but also with some kind of horrified sense of anticipation, and in a way was impatient for the ceremony to begin.

The Hat finished its song to furious applause. Sirius clapped mechanically with everyone else, but his mind was elsewhere. He watched, through a haze, as Professor McGonagall, took out a long scroll of parchment and unrolled it.

"When I read your name, you will come up here to be Sorted," she instructed sternly before turning her attention to the scroll. "Alador, Patrick!" A short, brown-haired boy walked confidently to the stool, though his pale face and hands clenched into fists gave away his nervousness. The hat seemed to think for some moments, then—

"RAVENCLAW!" it shouted loudly. The boy took off the hat, smiled embarrassedly, and walked off to join the Ravenclaw table, which was applauding loudly.

Sirius closed his eyes and tried to calm himself, but he couldn't stop his mind from screaming, "You could be next!" **"A Black should always look calm and composed. It is the mark of a high-bred man to remain unruffled while others worry themselves like a pack of startled geese." **It was his mother, again, in his head. He willed his body to keep still and forced himself to watch as the next student walked up, and the next. "Avery", "Bellan", and then…

"Black, Sirius!" said the professor's stern voice.

James whispered words of encouragement, but Sirius barely heard him. He took a deep breath and stood, then walked over shakily to the stool and sat down. The last thing he saw before he placed the hat over his head was Bellatrix sneering at him from the Slytherin table.

"Hmm…interesting, a rather difficult choice." Sirius jumped in surprise when he realized the hat was talking to _him_. "Let's see…a very sharp mind, but perhaps not such a studiously inclined nature as would befit a Ravenclaw…hmm…I can see a great deal of loyalty. Ah! A very ambitious mind, cunning, shrewd…So where shall I place you, young man?" Sirius almost gasped in shock. _He_ had to decide? He hadn't thought he would have much of a choice in the matter.

In one moment, Sirius reflected on all his thoughts about the Sorting and the Houses. Where, indeed, would he go?

Slytherin was the obvious choice. The Sorting Hat had hinted that he would do well there. Besides, it was expected, and, furthermore, necessary to be a Slytherin if he ever wanted to gain the favor of his mother. But…Sirius recalled the smirk on Narcissa's face and Rodolphus's and Rabastan's unpleasant grins as she threatened him. He remembered too clearly Bellatrix leering at him. No! He could not live as a Slytherin.

Ravenclaw…no. He would never have the patience to be a hard-working Ravenclaw scholar. Hufflepuff—he would rather die than be in that House! He imagined himself hanging his head in shame as his cousins teased him cruelly and his mother berated him. He knew that he could never be a Hufflepuff.

That left only Gryffindor, the worst choice of all. A Black simply did not become a Gryffindor. How many times, while thinking about the Sorting, had he contemplated the consequences of himself becoming a Gryffindor? Mum would probably disown him, Father…Father would just pretend he wasn't there. They would praise Regulus, commending his every attribute, all the while giving Sirius contemptuous looks. He would just…exist. As if he was not their blood, as if he wasn't a Black…just there, like a piece of forgotten furniture or ignored house-elf. No, not Gryffindor!

But another part of his mind spoke up as the battle raged, one that he had long tried to keep silent. Why, after all, should he be a Slytherin? Why should he have to follow their every rule, taking all of the punishment and none of the praise? Why should he have to live in fear of his own cousins? He felt a surge of anger towards his family. All his life, he had been the odd one out, the one repeatedly shamed, the unwanted child. He would not be the downtrodden rat as he had been before! No! He had to shape his own future, and there was no way he could in Slytherin. He thought darkly of Bellatrix and Rodolphus leering at him. He could not be in Slytherin, if he wanted to live.

And then Sirius thought of James. He had been so accepting, so nice…and Remus and Peter had just…included him. He was no longer an outsider. He remembered vaguely that James had wanted to be in Gryffindor, and how sad he had felt when he realized he would be separated from his friend.

"Well, at least none of them will be in Slytherin," he mused darkly. James is probably a Gryffindor, Remus a Ravenclaw, and Peter…maybe a Hufflepuff. At least I'll have friends," he thought, with new hope. He remembered how much he had in common with them, his new friends…For a second, he imagined what it would be like to spend a whole year together, playing pranks on people, enjoying himself for the first time…but no. What would his family think?

But then that other voice, the one that had not spoken for so long, clamped down on any doubts he had. He would have his own future!

"Anything but Slytherin," he said silently, but firmly to the hat. Even Hufflepuff wouldn't be that bad…

"You are brave, very brave, to reject the House your family has been in for centuries. I must say, you would do well in Slytherin, for you have a brilliant mind well suited to that House. However, it is not my choice that determines your Sorting, but yours. Your great courage and strength of spirit in turning away all you have been taught and ever believed is what shall decide your path in life." And with no more said, the Hat's brim opened wide and it shouted,

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Sirius stood and took off the Hat, placing it back onto the stool. A little shakily, but gaining confidence with every step, he began to walk towards the Gryffindor table, which was now cheering loudly. He refused to look back at the Slytherin table, though he could feel his cousins' eyes boring into him from behind. As he reached the table, he glanced back once to catch James's eye, smiling hesitantly. James winked at him and smiled broadly. Sirius felt a wave of happiness come over him. He felt like shouting for joy. He was finally free, free of the bonds that had bound him to a false existence for so long. Daringly, he glanced up to the Slytherin table and caught Bellatrix's eye. She scowled threateningly at him. But Sirius no longer felt scared. He smiled sweetly at her, and distinctly saw her eyes widen with shock. Sirius chuckled to himself. Things would never be the same again.

Liked it? Hated it? If you have the time, I would appreciate some feedback. Thanks!


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